Narcissism and Emotional Abuse Inventory
(NEAI)

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A Narcissist Test 

Note: This is not a self-assessment. The questions should be answered on behalf of the person who is being evaluated for narcissistic traits (this person is referred to as the “subject” throughout the quiz).

Is My Husband or Wife A Narcissist? Am I Being Emotionally Abused?

Take The Quiz To Find Out

The NEAI (Narcissism and Emotional Abuse Inventory) is a tool to measure the level and intensity of narcissism and emotional abuse present in a  relationship.

It is comprised of 40-questions and takes less than 10 minutes to complete.

The NEAI is not intended to be a self-assessment. It is most accurate when completed by a spouse, family member, friend, or someone else that is close to the subject.

After submitting your answers, the results  will be emailed to you within 15-20 minutes, to the email that you provided.

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What is the NEAI?

The NEAI is a 40-question assessment that identifies markers of narcissistic and emotional abuse, characterized by emotional immaturity, defensiveness, and lack of empathy to name just a few. 

The NEAI is not a tool to diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a serious and rare mental health disorder affecting about 2% of the population. 

Who is the NEAI for?

The NEAI was developed as an assessment tool for Marriage Recovery Center clients, with the goal of bringing insight and clarity to their situation by gathering data on specific behavioral patterns present in the relationship.

The NEAI can be taken by anyone seeking to gain insights into the dynamics of any relationship, whether it be a parent or other family member, a boss, friend, etc.

You will get the most accurate results by asking a close friend or other trusted third party who knows you and the person you are evaluating, to also complete the NEAI on behalf of the subject. Make sure whoever you ask can give fair and unbiased answers.

Watch this video to learn more about the story behind why we developed the NEAI 

When facing conflicting opportunities, he/she considers other’s feelings and preferences and even defers to them.

He/she insists on agreement with his/her opinions, perceptions or desires.

He/she tells others what they should feel, think or want.

Others consider the significant other to be caring, kind and generous toward others.

When facing conflict, especially with the significant other, he/she manages his/her emotions and seeks solutions benefiting all.

The significant other gives agreement/permission/acceptance and does not punish the other person for doing what he/she agreed upon.

He/she is easily offended or takes issues personally.

He/she is open, receptive, and makes it easy to give critical feedback.

He/she blames others for his/her personal choices or behaviors.

He/she receives critical feedback and makes behavioral and attitude changes accordingly.

When he/she enters the house, the atmosphere becomes more tense and anxious.

He/she values other people.

He/she is self-aware, noticing when they are open and receptive and when they SHIFT to being closed and defensive, making healthy choices, such as the use of time outs.

He/she is pleasant and cooperative in public and the same in private.

He/she withholds affection or his/her presence when unhappy with his/her partner/ children/ close friends.

He/she sees his/her need to change, seeking to change and grow when concerns are brought to him/her and holds himself/herself accountable for that change.

He/she insists on agreement with his/her opinions, perceptions or desires.

He/she is willing to seek professional help for changes needed.

He/she is able to name and share feelings effectively.

He/she overtly or covertly controls the family finances.

He/she exhibits a "Godly sorrow" for any wrongdoing, takes responsibility for failures, and apologizes easily and completely.

He/she sulks, pouts or hold grudges when conflict arises.

He/she is considered an open, flexible and resilient person.

Others can talk about concerns with him/her easily, quickly and without fear of an emotional reaction.

He/she makes allowances for other’s differences.

He/she uses the private or intimate things his/her significant other has shared with him/her inappropriately.

He/she always treats others with kindness and respect, honoring and protecting their boundaries.

He/she shares feelings openly, freely, at the appropriate time and without judgment, promoting intimacy and closeness.

His/her significant other/children/close friends avoid agitating him/her.

He/she offers critical feedback with respect, dignity and sensitivity.

He/she intimate relationships, especially with his/her significant other, are marked by emotional stability and friendliness.

He/she denies responsibility for others’ feelings and impressions.

He/she presents an accurate view of his/her mate to others.

He/she honestly and accurately admits to personal failings.

Others consider him/her to be a humble and sincere individual.

His/Her mate considers him/her to have a high degree of empathy and compassion.

He/she expects or demands loyalty even when his/her decisions are problematic, or his/her behavior is immature or damaging.

He/she presents versions of stories and relationship histories in biased or distorted views to make himself/herself look better.

He/she shares concerns in an assertive and respectful manner.

He/she establishes and respects boundaries, embracing consequences to boundary violations.